If you’ve ever wished you could take control of your life (and control your thoughts) — instead of just reacting to it — this blog post is for you. Most people have no idea how much their reality is shaped by their thoughts. They live in survival mode. Stressed, mentally all over the place, triggered. And it all happens because they were never taught how to listen to what’s really going on in their minds.
But the truth is, you can take control of your life.
And it starts here.
Your Thoughts Create Your Reality
You might already believe that. But are you living it? You know how important mental awareness is if you’ve spent years working on yourself.
You’ve probably heard me say this a hundred times:
You create your own reality. And your thoughts are the foundation of that reality.
Thoughts are not ‘just thoughts’. They are pieces of code that write the program inside your mind.
A software developer chooses the code he writes, and then he writes it.
It’s not a random process. He’s not hoping for the best. No, he’s completely focused on the end result: the program.
What’s The Point?
Nothing is random. You didn’t get dropped onto the earth only to suffer through life and die. What would be the point with that? And more importantly: does there have to be a point?
I’ve always known that I had a purpose.
Though, I couldn’t put my finger on it. There didn’t seem to be any purpose in being incredibly sick since birth and then struggle with disease for 4 decades.
For what?! Though, in hindsight it is starting to make more sense with every week that goes by.
In short: I wouldn’t be writing this blog post, had it not been for all those overwhelming mental and physical challenges.
But I didn’t always feel this way.
For years, I believed my suffering meant something was wrong with me. That life was happening to me and that I was just…unlucky.
Chronically ill.
Mentally exhausted.
Always the one who had to try harder just to feel “normal.”
I looked at other people with envy — like they had some secret key to life that I’d never been handed.
But what I didn’t realize was: I had the key all along. I just wasn’t looking for it in the right place.
Once I started observing my thoughts — even just for a few minutes a day — I began to hear how cruel I was to myself. How fast I was to assume the worst. How deeply I believed I was broken.
It was painful at first.
But then something opened.
And I began to write a different program. Not overnight, not without resistance — but one new thought at a time.
Writing The Program
It took me years – mostly sitting on a couch or walking in park – to see the connection between my thoughts and my so-called experience. The first revelation was that there was a connection.
“Did I create this shit show?”
On some level, yes. But obviously not consciously – i.e. choosing to be sick. That’s a ridiculous thought. No one would do that willingly.
And yet – your thoughts matter more than you know. They create beliefs, and everything you see is based on what you believe in. Your beliefs write the program that you’re currently a slave to.
How Long Does It Take to Hear Your Thoughts?
My students ask me this all the time: “Stephanie, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR ME TO HEAL?” That question used to be on my mind 24/7. After running a mind training group for over a year with 40+ students, one thing is clear: it usually takes 2 to 6 months before people begin to consistently notice their thoughts. It’s slower than you want. And you might not think that it’s the answer to the question, but it really is.
People want to master their thoughts…yesterday. And the truth is: no one does.
However, once you do, that awareness becomes the first real step toward changing the program.
You can’t change your beliefs unless you know what you believe in – and what you believe in is the reason that you heal….or don’t.
The Two Choices: Love & Hate
When you start becoming aware of your thoughts, you’ll hit a choice point:
You can continue the practice love and learn to shift your thoughts — or go back to blaming external things for your discomfort.
Meaning: do you want to feel good or do you want to find any scapegoat for your misery?
The natural response to this is: “But…they did/said that to me – it wasn’t my fault“.
The real power comes when you realize: your triggers don’t control you.
Your thoughts do.
And you create your own reality, whether you’re aware of it or not.
Love isn’t the easy choice. It’s the brave one.
It’s easy to hate, to blame, to spiral into the belief that everyone else is the problem. But that keeps you stuck. Powerless.
Love means asking: “How can I see this differently?”
Love means choosing a better-feeling thought even when you could choose resentment.
Love means believing you’re still whole even in the middle of your healing.
And yes — it’s hard sometimes.
But it’s always worth it.
What Are You Willing To Change?
My main function as a Mind Training Coach is to show my students what’s possible. You probably don’t want to change, if you want to keep believing in everything you used to believe in.
It’s either or.
Changing your mind means that you’re willing to entertain new ideas and concepts.
Maybe you don’t have the full picture?!
Maybe you got it wrong?!
Maybe that thing you’re struggling is your biggest blessing, if you looked at it from a different perspective?!
All that is up to you decide. And it only takes willingness to begin the process of change.
Start with Small Thought Shifts
Trying to change your most painful beliefs first? That’s like lifting 200 lbs on day 1 in the gym.
You just can’t do it, and it’s silly to expect it from yourself.
Instead: do what you can.
Start noticing how focused you are on anything that annoys you:
- That stranger who walks oh-so-slooooooooowly in front of you
- The colleague who always says the same stupid thing
- What your partner failed to do…again
- How cold it is outside…what happened to spring?!
There are countless – endless – problems in front of you that you’re predominantly focused on without anyone ever knowing about them. Specifically because they’re all happening inside your mind.
“I Didn’t See That One Coming!”
Sometimes it’s a little…unexpected to train your mind. You’ll discover thoughts, beliefs and things about yourself that you were completely unaware of before. That’s also the reason why most people resist it.
They think it’s going to be bad.
But imagine what that negative emotion is doing when it’s out of your awareness?! It can’t lead to anything wonderful, life-affirming if it’s so scary that you can’t even look at it.
It’s like Gollum crawling out of the woodwork.
You think he’s going to hurt you, but he won’t.
He can’t.
Darkness can’t survive when you shine a light on it. Your negative thoughts are no different, and you’ll liberate yourself in that process.
What Can You Control?
The answer is short: how you use your mind.
Right now it may seem like you don’t have any control whatsoever.
Like you’re watching a shit show featuring political unrest, wars, natural disasters, angry spouses and sulking teenagers.
That might seem like reality – as out of control as anything can be – but why focus on that when you can place your attention on any other thing:
- cherry blossom
- a great book
- going to the market and making dinner for a friend
- going to bed early and sleeping through the night
- chocolate
- walking your dog
Does it seem to naive to you?
Like I’m suggesting you play Pollyanna and stick your head in the sand like an ostrich?
Time To Focus = Control your thoughts
I’d rather be happy than right. And that boils down to what you focus on. Why would you care about how people perceive you when you can spend your day in joy instead of panic? That doesn’t make any sense and it won’t make you happy.
Your life is the sum total of the thoughts you choose to think: positive or negative.
That doesn’t mean that you’re not aware of what’s going on around you.
It just means that you focus on what makes you feel good or slightly better, no matter what.
Why would you choose hate over love?
Try This: 3 Questions to Catch a Thought in Action
If you’re just starting this practice, here’s a simple way to begin:
Pick one moment in your day — maybe mid-morning, lunchtime, or when you feel most reactive — and pause to ask:
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What thought am I thinking right now?
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How does it make me feel?
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Do I want to keep thinking this?
That’s it.
You don’t need to fix anything yet. Just notice.
You’ll be amazed how much clarity and calm you can gain in a few seconds of awareness.
Because awareness is the beginning of all change.
Conclusion
The truth is, life isn’t happening to you.
It’s happening through you.
And the longer you wait to understand the power of your own thoughts, the longer you stay stuck in the same frustrating cycles: illness that won’t go away, relationships that keep falling apart, emotions that spiral and pull you down like quicksand.
But once you see what’s happening inside your own mind — and you train yourself to meet it with awareness, not fear — that’s when everything begins to shift.
You don’t have to control the world. You just have to become a better observer of your own inner one.
And when you do, you realize something radical:
The healing doesn’t start when your outer life gets easier.
The healing starts when your thoughts do.
Because your thoughts are the real origin of everything you feel, react to, resist, or obsess over.
So, instead of trying to “fix” your life from the outside in…
…Start with the code running inside your mind.
Start where your real power is.
Right here. Right now. Thought after thought (control your thoughts).
Choose carefully.
Main Ideas From This Blog Post
Control Your Thoughts This Way
Here are the central points presented in this blog post:
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Your thoughts are not passive—they are active creators of your reality
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Most people live in survival mode because they’ve never been taught to listen to what’s really going on in their minds
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Beliefs shape your experiences, and you can’t change what you’re unaware of
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It takes time to notice your thoughts, but this is the most important step in transforming your life
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You always have a choice: to react with blame or to shift into responsibility and love
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Changing your mind is the only way to change your reality
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Start with small, manageable thought shifts and build the mental muscle over time
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Darkness loses its power when you bring awareness to it
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You can’t control the world, but you can always control your focus
- Focus on what brings peace, not panic—because your thoughts shape your world
A Question For You:
To Control Your Thoughts
I’m curious:
What would change in your life if you stopped believing every thought you think?
What would be possible if you changed your beliefs?
Please comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
There are no right answers — just your truth.
